Chaw fan fiction but it's some guy pretending to be Dracula

Penny got me so greened out I'm asking what's my age again, budtender slipped me some Blinker 182.

Refilled my cart with blinker fluid the way it got me turning around.

He went down in two hits, opp must prefer speed cola to juggernog.

List of assets so long the crew needed a dedicated accordion file manager to keep us in the game.

I go so hard in the paint my enemies think it's yogurt.

Fourth of July fireworks taking me back to the war of 1812. *taps message on telegraph* Napoleon still owes me a brick.

Shawty calls my crib the magic tree house when we're zooting through time. Maybe we'll land in an era where your business prospects are more propitious.

Gwyn, Lord of Cinder asked me to raise his profits, told him to quit linking the fire and start linking some blocks. The accursed undead can't OD for long.

Forget not, I'm Himothy. I'm Justin Himberlake. My world tour has not been stopped by numerous DUIs.

I run the Him-ternational Space Station. I built this grill out of the gold disc from the Voyager space probe. That was kinda a waste of my time. Still outbid the greys.

Benjamin Franklin called, he wants his haircut back. Bifocals, try focusing on one thing: meth.

They asked me if I understood the consumer price index. I said I consumed rice Windex. They said welcome aboard. The Krusty Krab health inspector has never been the same.

I came, I saw, I conquered. Ruminations from the Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest.

If music be the food of love, I'm starving. My life is empty because dedication to money and power has caused a lack of loyalty and genuine human connexion. My own mother would not recognize me. The grind has changed me more than the bottom of the skateboard in Tony Hawk's Underground.

Why do they sell Cosco brand at Costco? Just pick one.

Fifth third Bank? I'll take the third, that's at least 13 percent more.

My life's like a movie. A latter day Star Wars entry, because I have millions of haters and billions in revenue. Read it and weep.

Elite tier flower granting me access to the higher knowledge of the forms.

No Country for Old Men? The main character's an old guy and Border Patrol never even tailgated him. *Dials on BlackBerry* Hello AMC? I still want my money back. *shouting* I don't care that it was a matinee!

Took longer than I'd like to admit, but the crew and I finally out pizza'd the Hut. Federal agents are still told to keep an eye out for me.

I'd have solved the curse of Oak Island in less than two weeks. They must be saving that for sweeps week.

Tre

Ghosts can't be real. They haunt places where they died gruesomely, and there are no opp spirits on my block.

Electricity? No thank you, I don't vote.

Treating the haters like gerbils. Keep em running but never let em escape.

My money longer than the back 9 at Raindance.

To be or not to be, that is the question. Step on me and I'll answer it for you.